The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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