carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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