Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
