My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
