A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Hippo gnu deer
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
tell me about the eggs
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
