you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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