office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
