i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Randomize
