I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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