I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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