I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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