im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
