I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
