Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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