I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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