Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
40s are totally the cure
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
And then my night got REAL pukey
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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