i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
