Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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