with your own penis?
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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