I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Duck Duck Cougar?
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
