I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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