wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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