...so i touched it.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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