butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
