If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
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