just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
