I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
