you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I just sucked dick on a ferry
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
