What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
