Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
