his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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