How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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