Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize