I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
