omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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