So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Randomize
