didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
