if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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