And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
