Sry I called you an 8
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
