Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
