he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Randomize
