my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
