the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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