Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
