I puked a lego.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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