We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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