Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Are we still banned from the library?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize