Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
