There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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