there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
