I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Randomize
