If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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