So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
