Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
