If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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