My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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