What did we do last night that was yellow?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
