I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
