But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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