I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
