I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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