all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
