He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
