You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
