First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize