so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
