I don't remember. Are we still dating?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
