Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
