Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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