Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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