what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
