If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
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