I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Let's get the cat blown out
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
