You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
