My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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