we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I love having hate sex.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize