Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
