put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
