I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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