when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Randomize
