I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
