I just cut my nipple shaving
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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