Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
