Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
