I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
